Mar 16

There's this girl who is an absolute puzzle, how should I handle it?

  • I blew it awhile back, so Im not so interested in her in a romantic way anymore but I still want to be her friend. She claims to be "apathetic" and "blunt." She is apathetic, but she is only blunt to be mean. She was interested in me for a while, but when I got close, she would shy away and be negative. But I am sure she liked me...I get this impression she is on the edge. Her defenses are high, and I think if she knew she could trust me, she wouldnt have to be so defensive, but then she would feel shes contradicting her cold persona which she seems to like projecting. I also think she thinks I am messing with her cause one conversation I "backed her into a hypothetical corner" when I tried to diffuse her defenses. I want her to know I did it so I could get close, but I think she values her defenses more than not having to NEED defenses...if that makes sense. She always tries to make me think Im wrong about her, even when we both know Im right. But I dont care about being RIGHT and I need her to know that.
    Whats a good way to get her trust, not to get someones trust in general, but to get HER trust. If you know similar people, tell me about it and what does and does not work. Thanks! Love you guys


  • IF YOU REALLY just want to be a friend to this girl then be one. I do not see any problem with that do you? She is apathetic? So let us define apathetic.

    apathetic
    One entry found.


    Main Entry: ap·a·thet·ic
    Pronunciation: ˌa-pə-ˈthe-tik
    Function: adjective
    Date: 1744
    1 : having or showing little or no feeling or emotion : spiritless
    2 : having little or no interest or concern : indifferent
    synonyms see impassive
    ⠔ ap·a·thet·i·cal·ly -ti-k(ə-)lē adverb

    So you think she is interested in you before you come close, then when you do come close she shy away? Maybe your approach is wrong or too aggressive that she doesn't like your style. Could be. That is why she shy away or do not like it. Why is it your way of thinking is always say I THINK SHE LIKES ME...you never asked her about it, did you? You presumption is always SHE LIKES YOU.

    THE WAY YOU DEAL WITH HER, I do not think you still can gain her trust. FORGET HER. She sees you now as the oppositionist to her from now on. If I were you I rather have a different female friends than this one. Why keep on bothering her with your wits and innuendo. She simply ISN'T INTERESTED IN YOU but you keep on insisting on having her as a friend. WHY? You think you LOVE HER don't you? You always think positive right or left? Right.

    YOU WILL ONLY BRING OUT THE WORSE in her. Forget her, find other girls to your fancy. She will not work or fit in your agenda. The more you keep on bugging her the more she will shy away or totally loose her forever. You donot believe me, ok keep on doing it see the result in a couple of days. Wise man think twice.


  • Sorry kiddo, she's not the puzzle. You are.

    She's simple, she still likes you but isn't sure about your intentions. She's keeping her defenses up so you don't hurt her. Judging by what you said about having blown it, you already have. She's just trying to make sure you can't do it again.

    Why you want to be her friend and nothing more, yet continue to press this so hard, is where the real puzzle is. I suspect you want it more than you are letting on, or maybe even want it more than you yourself realize.

    Regardless, I suggest you back off and let her warm to you. If she does not, then let it go.

    If you really want this, then it may be time to take a chance. You keep trying to force her to reveal her hand, without showing yours. You're making her the vulnerable one, and that isn't fair. In particular when you are the one who hurt her; its not fair to make her be the vulnerable one again.

    If you want more than friendship, you should let her know. You put yourself out there and hope for the best. But at least then she knows you aren't just playing games with her, but are serious about this. If she doesn't want to take the chance, not much you can do about it. But it is definitely not going to work by trying to make her take the chance without knowing there is a net for her there when you let her fall one time before.

    So figure out what you want, and you will know what to do.







    • #If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.#
    Your name:
    E-mail:
    Telphone:

    Your comments:


    If you have any other info about There's this girl who is an absolute puzzle, how should I handle it? , Please add it free.
    Posted in portal.jdzjx.com by mike @ March 16, 2010 | edit |